Stop! Regulate and Listen: Simple Ways to Calm Your Nervous System

If the song “Ice Ice Baby” popped into your head, amazing! That is exactly what I was going for.

Learning how to regulate your nervous system can be one of the most powerful tools for managing anxiety, overwhelm, and stress. When our autonomic nervous system becomes dysregulated, our bodies can feel out of control. Understanding how the nervous system works can help us respond with more awareness and compassion.

So now that I have your attention — and a song stuck in your head — let’s talk a little bit about a specific part of your nervous system: the autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS is part of a greater system called the Peripheral Nervous System (PNS).

All of us have a beautiful and intricate system of nerves and bundles that run through our whole body, commanding and controlling vital functions like heart rate, breathing, and enabling thoughts and memories. You can picture the PNS like this gorgeous upside-down tree inside your body — and the ANS is part of that glorious tree!

Can you picture it? Nice, isn’t it?

Understanding the Autonomic Nervous System

So what does the autonomic nervous system have to do with you and your mental health?

Well, the ANS is broken down into two parts: sympathetic and parasympathetic.

Many people describe the sympathetic system as your fight or flight response — the “danger Will Robinson!” part of your nervous system — and the parasympathetic system as your rest and digest, chillin’ like a villain part.

Symptoms and emotions such as a higher heart rate, overwhelm, anxiety, heat, and shaking are often associated with the sympathetic system. On the other hand, feelings of calm, full breathing, relaxed shoulders, and increased clarity are often associated with the parasympathetic system.

Why Both Systems Matter

Here’s the rub — we actually need both parts.

Where things can start to feel out of control is when we shoot up too high into the sympathetic system (think panic attacks), or when our system drops too low into parasympathetic — a very low-energy state that can feel like deep exhaustion or depression.

In these situations, we can lose awareness and feel disconnected from ourselves. The logical part of the brain can seem to fly out the window, and we’re left feeling at the mercy of our physical sensations and emotions.

Honestly, it can feel scary.

If you’ve ever experienced what I’m describing, congratulations! You are a human being.

Learning to Regulate Your Nervous System

This is where therapy can come in and be the bee’s knees.

One of the goals of therapy for anxiety and stress is helping us gain more awareness before those spikes happen and gather tools that help us regulate our nervous system.

These tools and this knowledge can help us feel more in control of ourselves — and that can be a powerful experience.

Before I go, allow me to leave you with a few concepts you can practice to support nervous system regulation.

Tools to Help Regulate Your Nervous System

1. Practice Body Awareness

To increase your awareness in general, practice checking in with your body.

You might try a body scan meditation or simply pause for a moment and notice what different parts of your body feel like right now.

Without judgment, see what you notice.

Do you feel tension? Heat? Lightness? Expansiveness? Butterflies?

Your body is always communicating with you, and there can be many different signals. The question is: are you willing to listen?

2. Use the Five Senses Grounding Exercise

To increase your skill set and help bring your nervous system back toward neutral, a classic mindfulness tool is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise.

Try noticing:

• 5 things you see

• 4 things you feel

• 3 things you hear

• 2 things you smell

• 1 thing you taste

You can practice this exercise to savor the moment, to decrease anxiety, or simply to reconnect with the present.

Just practice and notice.

3. Try the Ice Trick

The final tip is an ode to the song that may still be stuck in your head — Ice, Ice Baby.

When you notice your nervous system launching into sympathetic mode, try grabbing an ice pack and placing it on the back of your neck or your cheek.

This can activate something called the diver’s response, which signals your body to slow down, take a deeper breath, and remember that there is, in fact, no tiger in the room.

When Nervous System Regulations Still Feels Difficult

Tools like grounding exercises, body awareness, and breathing techniques can be incredibly helpful for calming the nervous system in the moment. But sometimes our nervous systems get stuck in patterns of anxiety, overwhelm, or shutdown that are difficult to shift on our own.

Working with a therapist can help you better understand how your nervous system responds to stress and develop personalized strategies to regulate it more effectively. Therapy can also provide a supportive space to explore the underlying experiences that may be contributing to chronic stress or anxiety.

If you find that anxiety, panic, or emotional overwhelm continues to show up in your daily life, you don’t have to navigate it alone. If you are in the Sonoma area, you may benefit from joining our stress and burnout therapy group, or exploring individual therapy  (local or virtual) for more personalized support.

A Final Thought

I could honestly go on and on for days about my love for our nervous systems and all the beautiful tools that can help improve our relationship with them.

If you’re a human with a body and want to learn more about regulating your nervous system and managing anxiety, let’s talk.

Happy regulating!

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Learn more about Jenny McGunagle, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor